Two weeks later....

We'll it's been two full weeks since I discovered something very interesting in regards to one of my boys. We've had some struggles with some pretty big meltdowns for quite some time. I really can't remember NOT having them really. Our Ryan is the sweetest little guy you'll ever meet. He is SUPER affectionate, super gentle, kind, smart, compassionate...oh the list goes on. There's just been times where something happens and something little turns into something really big. A major meltdown occurs. I've often thought it looks as though when it happens he gets so into the meltdown that he really wouldn't be able to tell me what he was upset about. I learned early on to remove him from the situation and let him be alone and he would eventually calm down. He's a bit of a perfectionist, which isn't a bad thing, it just has meant sometimes it's hard when things don't go just right. So many times when things didn't go 'just right' they'd turn into these major meltdowns. I thought things would get easier the older he got but they really haven't.

We'll two weeks ago today. The kids were working on a little project for homeschool. Someone had given us some gumdrops and I thought it'd be fun for them to build with them. So, I got toothpicks and just let them go at it. They came up with some great creations. Of course part way through, they all wanted to sample some of the gumdrops so I said sure a few would be fine. They were having a wonderful time, it'd been a wonderful morning, then something happened. I can't remember what triggered it but all of a sudden one of these meltdowns started. It accelerates quite quickly and I'm never quite prepared and at times get quite flustered by it. We'll I put him in his room to calm down, knowing that talking to him wouldn't help, until he calmed down. We'll I came back out of his room and all of a sudden I had a thought (totally of God), what did we JUST do. What could have possibly happened. All I could think was...he ate some gumdrops. I have heard from a couple other friends about their kids having trouble with red dye in foods. We'll the thought came to me that maybe that really is something he's struggling with.

After he calmed down and came out of his room he was sobbing...sad tears. He said that he really wanted to obey but he just didn't know how. It totally broke Mommy's heart. He was so remorseful and something in me just knew...he honestly couldn't help it. I told him that I thought there was a possibility that Mommy may have figured out something that he just ate that makes him not feel good. We talked about the Red dye. I told him that I think he really is right, that he really wants to obey but because of this it makes it really hard for him. I told him Mommy wanted to try to make sure he doesn't eat anything with red dye in it and see how he feels. He was SO on board with it from the moment we talked about it. I went through our cupboards and just really started reading labels. I have been appalled at how many things have that red dye in it. It's shocking!

I thought back to the day before the gumdrop issue. Sunday he had a major meltdown as we were leaving for church. Tom had to carry him out to the van pretty much screaming. Great way to head to church. ha. We'll I thought back...what did we have for breakfast. We'll I had made some cranberry muffins out of a mix and wouldn't you know it...there's red dye in them. Then I thought back to Bradley's birthday party in October, Ryan spent a portion of the time in my room having a meltdown. We'll hmm..what did we eat?? Cake mixes have red dye in them. Oh, I was feeling terrible!!

I went to Walmart that night and I began to start reading labels and here's just a few things I've found that have red dye in them: chips, crackers, chocolate pudding, cake mixes, frosting...even white vanilla frosting...has red in it. Muffin mixes,(even pumpkin and banana bread mixes)fruit snacks, candy - of course. This is only the beginning. There's actually a website http://www.red40.com/ that lists many more things. Oh the list never ends. I've always been one to only by 100% juices. I don't buy the sugary juices. We'll Tom went to the cupboard and looked at some juice boxes that we had...100% juice...and would you know the last ingredient was Red 40. Of course even his toothpaste had it in it.

So, I've watched everything he's eaten or used and it's been TWO weeks now and not a SINGLE meltdown! I'm amazed. We have the normal sibling disagreements now and then but I'm talking about the totally major meltdowns that would have normally happened haven't happened. There have been many of situations and opportunities that would have normally turned into one but he's been able to control himself and make the right choices etc. It's been absolutely amazing. I'm SO sold on this. I looked online and there are a ton of articles there about parents having the same situation and figuring out that it's linked to that Red dye.

Now he asks before he eats something that he's not sure about...if there's dye in it. We got some freeze dried fruit from Costco the other day and on the way home he was eating a strawberry and he stopped and said, "Oh mommy, I can't have this. It has red in it". Bless his heart. I explained to him that strawberry's are red because that's how God made them. It's not the same kind of red dye. They had samples at Costco and of course had some fruit snacks and jelly beans. The other three kids had some and I told him I'd find something else for him and he was SO fine with it. He didn't even want any. It's like he knows it makes him not feel good. We were eating somewhere one day this week and there was something that I didn't really know if it had it in it and he had no desire to even try. I'm so glad he's so on board with it. He's such a little trouper. These past two weeks I've just gone through our cupboards and quite honestly, there's not really a TON I have to get rid of but it really just seems to take just a little bit to trigger this. Bedtimes were often a battle...could it have been the toothpaste?? Hmm...

I don't' let the kids have much candy to begin with but they do have sticker charts for homeschooling and when they get 5 stickers they get to pick something out of the prize box, we'll there is candy in there...there's gum in there....etc. So that's all in the trash now. Chocolate is ok as long as it's not m&m's or something like that that has color in it. I did find some gum at the health food store that doesn't have it in it.

Something else Ryan's eyes seem to bother him and his skin sometimes. Not a rash but he tugs on his eyes and says they itch. We'll I was giving him a bath the other day and of course, the shampoo has Red 40 in it. Ugh! So, I went to the health food store and found some kid shampoo that doesn't have it in it. So far so good there too! God is so good. I'm SO thankful he showed me this and that it's really working. It's just been an amazing 2 weeks. It really has. I'm so blessed that the WHOLE family is on board and we are just redoing the whole house of what we use and don't use so everything is safe for him. There's plenty of alternatives out there, it's more expensive...like the shampoo etc but it's SOOOO worth it.

Just in the first day I was in tears just thinking about these past 5 years and feeling terrible that I didn't know about this. I had a great heart to heart talk with Ryan and told him how sorry Mommy was for all the times he got in trouble for something he wasn't able to help. That Mommy was sorry for the times I got upset and frustrated with him. I asked him to forgive me and of course the first thing he did is give me a BIG hug and tell me that he loves me. Oh the heart of a child. I'm SO grateful he's so forgiving. I'm so thankful for my boy!!